The Ties That Bind

I've been home for nine days now. My days and nights are back to normal. I am sleeping again. I still feel like I am lost some days, like I am just existing. I need to be doing something.

One of the things that has been really hard for me is not spending time with those on the team. We spent fourteen days together. We would have breakfast, lunch and dinner together everyday. We worked side by side to build those walls. We laughed and cried together. I miss everyone.

I'm usually at church for all four services on Sunday, and this week, as members of the team would arrive, we would almost tackle each other in the lobby. We were so happy to see each other and everyone talked about how much they had missed everyone. There were bonds formed through this experience, that will never be broken.

I woke up this morning, sad. I don't know why. There is nothing specifically wrong, I am just sad. It's rather frustrating. This isn't how you are supposed to feel after a mission trip. I hope it all passes soon.

Re-entry

Re-entry - what an interesting term. When you leave for a mission trip, you never think about having a problem returning to your own country.

I spent months in prayer over the trip, days fasting and praying. My mind was totally focused on the job at hand and doing the best I could to share God's love in Uganda. I never gave coming home a second thought. I assumed it would be like coming home from a vacation and returning to normal life. That is not the case at all.

The reentry process is tough. This experience has changed me as a person. I've experienced different places and different cultures. It's hard to get back into the routine of daily life at home. In fact, I don't want to. There are times where I wish I could just go back, like I fit in better there. Things that seemed so important before I left are now so trivial.

Beyond the emotional aspect, is the physical. You are tired, and sleep is interrupted or delayed. Your internal clock is in turmoil, your body is physically drained and your heart aches to return to those you left. It's a feeling of displacement and detachment.

I no longer have to brush my teeth with bottled water, lather up with insect repellant, or take malaria pills, but now it doesn't feel like such an inconvenience.